Day 162

It's been a while. The last time I updated was when it first started snowing in Seoul. So much has changed since then. I had a lot of highs and lows since then. The semester ended, I said goodbye to everyone that I met this fall, and I made my way home back to San Francisco. I took a road trip down to Socal for two weeks. I came back happier, yet sadder at the same time. My life has had some crazy things happen since I left for Seoul, and I think it's carried on back to America.

In two weeks, I leave for Seoul again for spring semester. I have mixed feelings about going back. On one hand, I still have a lot more left that I want to do. On the other hand, I'm not as excited. I feel like going back isn't as much fun as it is the first time because it isn't a completely new experience anymore. Regardless, I'm ready to finish what I started. I'm sad that a lot of people that were there for fall semester aren't gonna be there for spring semester. Hopefully the next group of people are gonna be awesome. We'll see what happens!

Day 92

Snow.

That's all.

^__^

Day 72

Technically, it's not my 72nd day in Korea, but this blog is more about the experience rather than day-to-day summary.

I can't believe that on Wednesday, I was on a plane going back to San Francisco and today, I flew back to Seoul. I feel like each week that goes by, it gets harder and harder. Life is throwing me so many different challenges, most of which I probably would have never had to deal with had I not come to Korea. Life would've been so much easier in Irvine. I wouldn't have to deal with as much as I have here. But that's why I came in the first place. The experience has always been more important to me than the actual studying.

The last two months, particularly the last 3 weeks, have been really hard on me. Whether I'm drunk, shopping for clothes, clubbing, dealing with a variety of friends, on top of a giant roller coaster, or putting my grandfather to rest, I can say is that I've learned a lot since I've started my journey.

There are times when I've felt stuck. Like I couldn't do my own thing without feeling like others were going to judge me. For a while, I didn't feel like I was getting the experience that I wanted from studying abroad in Korea. Often, it seemed like I was trapped in a box. I wanted to leave the box many times, but I never felt completely comfortable doing so. Slowly, I took it upon myself that I had to get out and I did. Some people weren't happy with that, but I couldn't make everyone happy without making myself happy first. I've always said that if I want to be happy, I have to take it into my own hands and deal with it. And stepping outside of that box made me realize that if I'm not happy, I have to do something about it.

On the other hand there are some things that just happen, some things that I can't control. And as much as I wish things were different, the only thing I can do is look forward and grow. My grandfather is gone, and it wasn't fair. But all I can do it look at his life and all that he has done for me and my family and apply that to my own life. Everything he did was for his family. He loved us all and supported everyone, regardless of their decisions in life. He always took care of us, even when he couldn't physically stand up. Everytime my dad leaves on some trip, he always says "take care of mom." And everytime, I always take it to heart. No matter how old I get, I always will take care of her. Just like she did for my grandfather when he got sick.

Wherever he is now, I'm sure he feels free again. All I imagine him doing is throwing junk into a trash bag and practicing his ballroom dancing on the kitchen floor at Jackson St. And once he finishes, he's in the Buick, sitting me on his lap and teaching me how to drive while we wait for my grandmother to finish shopping. He'll never leave me and that's all that matters.

Day 64

One day can be amazing. The next can be heartbreaking. I don't know what else to say, but:

R.I.P. Goong Goong

<3,>

Day 60

So much has happened since last week. After so much piled up stress, I feel like more than a few weights have been lifted off of my shoulders. First, I finished all of my midterms in two consecutive days. It was really intense and I'm not exactly sure of how I did, but I was just happy to get through them and finish.

After my Korean midterm on Friday, I had my first meal in two days. I was super exhausted and napped for a while that night, until I ended up going to NB2 in 홍대 with Alex, Christine, Frank, Angie, Lily, Jimi and Misha. NB2 was sooo crowded and at times, the music was really bad. But at other times, they played 2NE1 and I was all over it. I couldn't contain my excitement over hearing their songs playing. Even Ke$ha was played, so I'd say it was a successful night.

The next morning, I was supposed to wake up at 9am to go to the G20 Concert, but I ended up leaving at around 3pm lol. The concert was at 잠실 stadium. We were pretty far back, but it was okay. There was nobody there that I was extremely excited to see. The ones who I did enjoy seeing were 4minute, Kara, Beast, BoA, Rain, etc. I fell asleep during the Taiwanese guy because I was so tired. Nothing much happened after the concert was over. We got back to 연세 and I knocked out from 5am to 4pm.

Sunday, I resolved all that happened from last week. After being Gretchen'd ("You can't sit with us!!") last week, I could finally think without having to worry about losing a friend. But if there's anything that I've learned in the past week, it's that I shouldn't have fallen into the same pattern, the same routine, with the same people. Being forced to stay away from the people I had seen every single day since my arrival in Korea, I was able to make new connections. And despite feeling like I had dug myself a hole, I pulled myself out. I feel like my life here will be different for the better.

Monday was like any normal day until dinner. I ate dinner with the original folks and we went to the place above Jessica's Kitchen (The restaurant does have a name, but I like to refer to it in regards to Jessica's Kitchen.) Dinner seemed normal until the lady at the table next to us offered us a bowl of rice. I thought it was really nice of her. She then proceeded to hand over another bowl of rice. And another. Next came the 파전 and a full 불고기 dinner! I couldn't believe it when she kept handing over stuff to us. She said she liked foreign students and we just happened to be at the right place at the right time. Finally, she gave us 4 bottles of 막걸리! It was almost too good to be true. Her and her group asked us to sing for them, and we had no choice but to. They were so nice to us! It was the best meal I had eaten in Korea so far. :DDD

Last night, I got my hurr did along with Joon and Wayne. I swear the lady who cut my hair really loves to cut hair. She took so long and even after getting it washed, she cut some more. But she styled it very nice. I swear she didn't put wax in it. It was magic. Maybe it was just because she used a blowdryer on it, but I loved it. I'm sad that it'll probably never look like that again, but I can deal with it.

Later on, I bought a phone card and called my grandparents because it was my grandfather's birthday a couple of days ago. When I called, my mom answered the phone. She seemed surprised that I called and talked about Joey's winning film and their trip down to San Diego. I wish I could've been there, but I'm still very happy for him. I told my mom to let me say happy birthday to my grandfather, which I did, but barely got a response from. He can barely speak anymore. My family doesn't even take him outside anymore because it's too hard for him to move. I feel so sad for him. I know that things just happen and you can't change it, but it's a sad thought. I can't imagine what it feels like to basically feel trapped inside of your body. You can see and think clearly, but your body won't do what it tells you to. :(

The weather has been getting very cold lately. Last night, it was down to about 36 degrees. That's the lowest it'll be this week, but it should start snowing next month. I'm excited, but I'm worried too. I need snow boots and more jackets. This calls for some Gmarket shopping.

Day 54

I'm in such a fragile state. I really feel like after my glorious birthday, everything has just come crashing down and I'm trying to carry it all on my shoulders. There's so much piled stress. I basically have 7 midterms in two days. And half of this, I don't even understand. Not to mention that I feel like I've lost a huge part of me in Korea the other night. I don't even know if my life here will ever be the same was it was before. I did come to the realization, however, that if I could go back and start this journey over, I would. And I would do things much differently. But I can't change anything and I just have to live with it. Whether I like it or not, I'm here for two semesters and if I'm gonna make the most of it, I have to keep trudging along.

But if I could go home right now for a while, that would be nice. :(

Day 51

I have to say, spending my 20th birthday in Korea has been amazing. I've never been a really big birthday person, but this time I finally let that go and I had a blast.

It all started on Thursday when we went out for dinner to celebrate for both me and Sophia. We were born on the exact same day, only 16 minutes apart. We're also both Sociology majors. Creepy.

TWINFUN!!!

After dinner, Krissy and Roger leave to get us a cake while the rest of us run back in the cold rain. The cake was cute. It had two polar bears on it, hugging each other. It was delicious too. At first, we both said that we didn't want a cake but I finally gave in just to make them feel happy for getting it for us.

On Friday, I had class all day so I didn't do much during the day. But once 8pm came along, I was getting ready to go to the club again. See, last Thursday's clubbing event was a 2 for 1 deal, so everyone got in for free. It was a pretty expensive place too, in an expensive-looking area of Seoul.

After getting wristbands, we hit up the local Family Mart, downed a bunch of 소주 and 맥주 and were good to go. The club was pretty nice, actually. At first, the DJ only played trance and techno music but finally got around to pop songs. Mostly the Black Eyed Peas, but I think that's because he was their DJ or something. Once again, I had so much energy on the dance floor. I'm surprised I didn't lose my voice either because I was singing along really loud.

We were getting pretty tired and it was almost time for us to leave, but the club never wants me to leave. Just like last Thursday, we were getting ready to go when all of a sudden, I hear Kesha. I grab Krissy and we run back in for her and Lady Gaga. It was the perfect way to end the night.

The next morning, my ears were ringing. I woke up and went to the Charlie Brown Cafe with Krissy. I think it's pretty expensive for a cafe, but I guess it's all about the decorations. There was Charlie Brown everywhere, just like the Hello Kitty Cafe. Afterwards, she bought me food from my favorite food cart in 이대 and we went back to SK.

Good grief, you're too expensive!

After going back, I left again with Frank to go to 한강. I had never been there before, so I was pretty excited to see it.

It was so nice. The water actually looked clean, unlike the other rivers I've seen in Korea. While walking around, I found 5,000 won on the ground and I also noticed there were also tons of bikers around that had the same bike, so I made us go look for them to rent. Frank was really scared because he said that he wasn't good at riding, but I made him anyway. And it was a really nice bike ride along the river for only 3,000 won.

For dinner, we had 삼겹살. At first, I said it was too expensive, but when we ate it, I realized why it cost so much. The meat was so fresh and so delicious. It was one of the best meals I've eaten in Korea so far.

After dinner, we took the subway back to 신촌 and he brought me into Baskin Robbins where Christine and Erin were sitting with a panda ice cream cake. It was sooo cute and I felt bad for destroying it, but it did taste good too.

:(

I could honestly say that my 20th birthday was the best birthday that I've ever had. I can't believe that I spent the entire time in Korea. And knowing that there are people here who care about me means a lot. I <3>